A woman whose husband was randomly stabbed to death by an illegal immigrant has spoken out for the first time of her anger, but said she could not find it in her heart to hate his killer.

Mother-of-five, Farah Mirza, 46, found it too difficult to go to the Old Bailey last Thursday to face Mark Gjoni, the man who admitted killing her husband Qamar, 48, at a Jet petrol station in Cricklewood Broadway in the early hours of March 6 last year.

Gjoni, 34, who is mentally ill, smuggled himself into the UK from Albania just days before launching the attack on Mr Mirza, a complete stranger.

"Even though I thought I should go, I couldn't," said Mrs Mirza, from her home in Exeter Road, Cricklewood, close to where her husband died.

"It is very hard for me. I know he is sick, but maybe after seeing him, I would have more anger about him, which would make it even harder.

"Of course, I am angry about this. But when I see his mental condition, I cannot be angry with him. If the person is not capable of thinking, he should get medical attention, of course. But every single second, I want him to be punished, every single second I feel pain, it's like it happened yesterday, or today. He had no reason to take a person's life, to take the children's father."

Gjoni pleaded guilty to manslaughter on the grounds of diminished responsibility, and is being held at Belmarsh prison until a bed can be found for him at Broadmoor Hospital.

Mrs Mirza, who is from Pakistan, has taken to wearing the Islamic hijab as a sign of mourning since her husband's death and has become more religious, saying that covering her face and head allowed her more privacy at a difficult time.

Describing him as open, friendly, and always determined to make plans for the future, Mrs Mirza said she was at a loss without her husband, who was her best friend since their marriage in 1978.

She said: "When he died, I contacted all the people he had worked with, and they all said he was very kind and had no word to say against him. He believed everything was possible and was very talkative, but also very gentle and organised."

On the night of his death, Mrs Mirza was expecting a phone call from her husband, who worked as a delivery driver. Instead, she was telephoned just after 1.30am by someone who just said she should go to the petrol station. Her eldest son, Aaqil, 21, went and she stayed at home praying.

She later discovered her husband died within an hour of being stabbed by Gjoni with an eight-inch knife.

Gjoni has been remanded in custody and will appear at the Old Bailey again on July 15 for sentencing.