Rover Oxford 3 - 2 Mill Hill Mill Hill were soft. So soft that no one would have been surprised had Mr T crashed onto the astroturf in a tank and started firing snickers bars around. It was a classic cheese-eating surrender monkeys performance. Three points were on the table, but in the manner of a sagging former page 3 model in the bushtucker trial, Mill Hill lost their appetite. They displayed no hunger and no thirst either, which was lucky because they also lost their bottle. And, with the bottle went the battle The deciding goal was yet another flick. The large amount of practice that Mike "nearly" Ellis is getting at these set plays doesn't seem to be benefiting him much however, as once more he got just close enough to help the ball into the net. He had been unlucky with a rebound which created the chance for the Oxford's under 16 centre forward to slide the ball goalwards and onto the foot of the clumsey covering defender. The chance was a rare one for Oxford, but once again Mill Hill found their opponents highly clinical in front of the posts.

A promising start for the visitors had seen Ryan Sclanders finish a slick pitch-length move to go ahead. It was the bald-headed centre-forward who again gave hope of points for only the third time this season, with industrious Pete Lazlett once more instrumental in the build-up. Otherwise it was the usual stuff from Mill Hill. Roger Casper panted away diligently on the left, Craig McIntyre, the man of glass, picked up his usual injury and Ellis leapt around the goal like a rabbit with its fluffy tail on fire.

The only difference was that foul-mouthed Nick Warr, perhaps mollified by fatherhood, was quiter than usual. His curses were saved for the slippery pitch. The tired excuse of the wrong kind of leaves, just made the point that Mill Hill, like British Rail, had become archaic and too slow to adapt to the changing conditions.

Better luck next time?