Mill Hill 4- 9 Eastcote Things could only get better. Or so it seemed until the game began. Within seconds Eastcote had created and wasted a golden opportunity and it was a matter of a few minutes before they had replicated the chance with a successful outcome.

The movement of their forwards and the pace of the passing left Mill Hill exposed like a Brazilian rainforest when the chainsaws arrive.

Six-nil down when the half-time whistle blew and Mill Hill were in worse trouble than the global economy. During the break Captain Pete unveiled a rescue package involving a series of co-ordinated rate cuts and a £4.95 bail-out.

Remarkably it worked with a little help from an inspirational wonder goal from Ryan. Rambo-like he took on the massed ranks of mercenaries guarding the Eastcote goal, picking them off one-by-one on an epic voyage from the half-way line in conditions that would have deterred Michael Palin.

Suddenly it was the vistors’ defence that appeared as ragged as the tatty net slung up behind their goal. Mill Hill continued to press earning a series of short corners which ranged from two perfectly executed goals for Ryan and his equally hairless teammate Mark Helicar to a bizarre pass through to the half-way line that set up a goal for the opposition.

Nick Warr’s claymore-style aggression combined with Pete’s rapier-like skill helped Mill Hill gain command of the midfield and created another quarter-chance for Ryan to convert. A second-half scoreline of 4-3 to the home side demonstrated that the promoted XI can old their own among the big boys.

And the team defied the credit crunch and celebrated their return to the top division with a morale boosting sumptuous banquet at the club.