When is the age when you have to stop passing judgement on someone’s name? I met a little boy this weekend. He was three months old, half of a twin combo and called Henry.
As is something of a routine when you meet a baby we spoke half at him and half at the lady carrying him (who I have deduced is his auntie) and asked the typical questions – how old are you? What’s your name?
And then I made a judgement. “Oh that’s such a nice name” I said. It is a nice name. The fact that I wouldn’t say otherwise if I thought so is beside the point. The auntie smiled and we went our separate ways.
It just got me thinking. I know that when I have my child I’ll want everyone to tell me we did a decent job in picking a name. After all it is a huge responsibility. And so I will definitely welcome comments like I gave to Henry and his auntie this weekend. (Don’t like the name? Keep that to yourself.) But at what point is name approval unacceptable? When I meet someone at my age and ask their name I don’t then follow it with “oh that’s a pretty name” or something similar. I wouldn’t even do it with a teenager. But why?
Why do we feel the need to always make comment about a baby’s name and how old does said baby have to be before we stop this bizarre ritual and just use it to refer to them from then on?
It’s like I have also always wondered at what age you stop referring to yourself in relation to other people by school years. “So and so was in the year above me at school” or something similar is a phrase I still use. But it’s not really something my parent’s generation dabble in.
It’s funny, there must be plenty of other weird things we say that seem perfectly normal at certain stages in life that then just become weird. But I do think the name thing with babies is more for the parents benefit than the child’s. It’s like you’re patting them on the back, telling them they did a good job. So feel free to continue this strange tradition with me when I give birth.
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