Hendon 1- 4 Mill Hill Ryan Schanders was once revered as one of Mill Hill's top strikers and his words still carry some weight in the team. "I always say let's play for fun, but this week we'll play to win," he declared during the pre-match warm-up.

And the team carried out his instructions to the letter. Absolutely without panache, they did enough to put victory beyond doubt. The goals were far from spectacular, and dozens of short corners went begging.

Solly got one, a typically poached close-range finish, Pete scored another from a short corner and Ryan once again missed out on a hat-trick.

By far the most entertaining event of the first-half, however, belonged to the industrious Craig McIntyre. Put though for a clear one on one with the keeper, he neatly sidestepped to leave an open goal, just a couple of yards away, at his mercy. The only way I can describe what happened next is with reference to one of those Hollywood action movies (bear with me, it may take some time).

So, there are two cops, longtime partners, and one is due to retire to his devoted wife and children the next day. But they go on one last job, hoping to clear up some longstanding mystery. A patch of brilliant detective work leads them to an unguarded warehouse where they suspect the loot is hidden. The younger one stops outside - to do up his shoelaces, have a pee etc - while the other goes in a finds a briefcase stuffed with cash. His eyes light up. Suddenly the first realises it's a trap, but his partner isn't smart enough to work it out or quick enough to get away.

"Noooooooooooo," said Ryan, in slow motion, as disaster struck and Craig tripped over his own feet.

Either that or it was Hendon's invisible defender with a last-minute tackle - the same invisible defender who hacked down Pete in the midfield. The wounded captain, having received emergency medical attention, managed to battle on to ensure victory for his troops.

Apay, however, didn't make it though to the end of the game after an intervention by the umpires.

Afterwards, unimpressed by the school canteen, the team headed back in time, to the pub the world forgot. Apay managed to travel rather far, reaching the Middle Ages (Hanger Lane) before realising his mistake and turning round.