12-4 It's a cricket score. Admittedly an England cricket score but there could easily have been more. Dozens of half volleys on leg stump went begging and long-hops were invariably played straight to the fielders. Indeed Ryan had such a poor game that the other 10 members of the side were able to outscore him 6-5.

Poor mid-table Gerrards Cross really didn't know what had hit them. It was as though al-Qa'eda had suddenly decided to take on the Quakers.

For sure, Mill Hill were on the rebound. After a dismal performance the previous week they knew they might need 6 to earn a draw.

The fact that they got double that, overtaking their points tally from the whole of last season in the process, was down to the versatility and power of the midfield, which has proven to be the equal of any other in the Middlesex, Berkshire, Buckinghamshire and Oxfordshire first division.

Apay managed to connect with the ball twice, Pete also bagged a brace and Craig and Warra both got in on the act too. I even think Helicar might have scored. But to be honest I lost count.

As he sat on his backside in the Alpine snow, Solly must have been ruing missing the feast. Mind you it was a game to be embarrassed if you didn't make it onto the score sheet.

The one blot on the performance came from birthday boy Craig. Nicknamed Harry Potter neither for his youthful looks nor his on-pitch wizardry but because he enjoys a spell on the sidelines, the man who sees yellow took a time out after appealing to the umpire. The umpire did indeed raise a finger, but not his index one and Craig had his marching orders.

The bored defence did their best to make the game into a contest with some creative interpretations of the concept of passing. But the whirlwind would not be checked and Mill Hill's last two games have seen 27 goals. Total hockey.