Stunning Mill Hill romped to a crushing victory against neighbours Harrow thanks to a hat-trick from deadly striker Ryan Schlanders.

Despite missing inspirational defender Duncan Hooper, the Millers were just too good for their opponents and should have had more. Veteran forward Mike Solomans, 45, wasted chances galore. The red-faced striker managed to trip over his own feet when faced with an open goal. He even missed when the keeper went walkabout off the pitch.

Fellow golden-oldie David Evans didn't fare much better. He was close to tears after collapsing on the turf, pleading with pals to help him off the pitch. But moments later he bounced back onto his feet like a spring chicken, vowing to play on.