First, an introduction: We're Mill Hill, the minnows of north London hockey. The kind of team that needs to get past three qualifying rounds to make it to the first round of the FA cup. But what we lack in the shape of world class centre-forwards we make up for with a healthy and well intentioned sense of humour. We pride ourselves in being able to face adversity in the manner of Ned Kelly and Butch Cassidy so though we often find ourselves runners up on a Saturday afternoon we do so with a certain style that other teams can't match.

And so to the matter in hand. This slot will bring you weekly updates on the team's progress through the season. While I can't guarantee that the reports will be accurate, I hope they will be entertaining. So I'll get on with it.

Saturday saw High Wycombe take the short trip to fortress Compton in Finchley central. The game was the last chance to hone skills and fitness before the league begins. Hone is perhaps not strong enough a work. Captain Pete Lazlett's job could be compared to that of Michaelangelo, picking up a few blocks of marble from the quarry, confident he can knock out 11 statues of David by next Saturday.

From the pushback, it quickly became clear that Mill Hill had the upper hand against a youthful opposition. But the home side displayed some telling weaknesses, mostly upfront. Showing a profligacy in front of goal that made Mother Theresa seem mean, Mark Hellicar squandered chance after chance.

Remarkably, however, by the end of the match he had scored twice, goals which can only be ascribed to the fact that the keeper fell asleep on both occasions while waiting for the ball to arrive.

Mill Hill finally got off the mark courtesy of man-of-the match Nick Warr. The midfielder, having spent the entire pre-match warm-up whingeing about an ankle injury sustained getting up at the desk, still managed to beat the defence to a rebound, and tuck the ball into the net.

Wycombe were quickly back on level terms however. The slick convertion of a short corner suggested they'd spent at least some of the summer pushing salt and pepper pots across a pub table in a bid to perfect their routine.

Mill Hill pressed back and, after a number of missed Hellicar chances, Dan Stockill produced a near finish to restore the lead.

An untypical on-target effort from Apay Obang-Oyway pushed the home team further in front. His powerful close range shot burst through the net, but fortunately this time missed the massed ranks of the assembled spectator.

To their credit, Wycombe never gave up, scoring by my recollection another two goals, including a fine solo effort from the right wing.

But by the second half Mill Hill were converting their chances and probably ended up with more than the five goals cited above. It could have been more had over zealous umpiring not ruled out a sharp finish from new boy Ankeet Khimasia.

Like the tap dancing beggar who used to wander the streets of Oxford, the aging Mill Hill team probably aren't in line for any major awards this season. But they're free to come and watch (though cans of Tenants Super are gratefully accepted) and sure to provide good old fashioned entertainment.

Mill Hill play at Compton Leisure Centre, Finchley. Anyone wishing to join the mens or ladies teams can contact duncanhooper@hotmail.com